I Ride The CTA

I like to think of myself as a kind, down-to-earth, generally positive person who looks for the best in most situations. BUT, there is one place in which this whole persona changes: THE CHICAGO CTA. I have absolutely no tolerance when it comes to the smelly, nose-picking, mouth-breathing, crotch itching, crazy (literally crazy) person sitting next to me on the bus.

For the first month in a half I lived in the city and rode the CTA I was patient, friendly and generally tolerable of most CTA clientele, this has changed. Most of the time I just laugh at the situations I find myself in, because as me and my sister say, we are on The Truman Show. Obviously these situations have been pre-ordained to only happen to the Callahan girls. My goal is to try and log every interesting, funny, uncomfortable situation I find myself in on the bus, or L.

I'll start you off with a quick preview: Almost all CTA buses are handicap accessible, which I think is just great. I think it's awesome that anyone is able to take the CTA, and I often think, "well good for them they're taking the bus too and not letting their disability stop them". Well the other day, a man in a wheelchair got on the bus and strapped himself in. I thought in my uber-positive mind "how great!". Then something else happened. He started rummaging through his backpack for something and pulled out an electric razor. Yes, an electric razor. So I thought to myself, "now what could he be doing with that on the bus?" Oh he did what most people do with an electric razor...started shaving. Bits of his reddish beard hair started flying everywhere, especially in my general direction! It was beyond disgusting, I had to be sure not to yawn or anything the rest of the ride and I definitively didn't take of my sunglasses for fear of his fur flying into one of my orifices. Who shaves on the bus??? Seriously??

Now if you think this story is a rarity, it's not. You're in for a wild ride. If you have a good CTA story feel free to email and if you're lucky I'll post it...subject to my editing: stepheatschicago@gmail.com